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Scary Mom-Nightmares Series:
A Collection of Humorous Stories from Real Moms
Check out the rest of this series!!
That’s right!! Scary Mom-Nightmares: Potty Edition is finally here!
We can’t even begin to talk about the crazy things that happen to us as parents without hitting on pee and poop!!!
Pee and poop is the essence of insane parenting moments!
That’s why we all LOVE potty training so much. HAHAHAHAHA (slow insane laugh….)
So what awesome potty stories do you have??
Check out this list of over 20 great potty stories that will have you rolling on the floor laughing out loud-
AND don’t forget to share your own potty stories in the comments below!!!
Here they are! 21 of the best (or worst??) potty stories told by moms!
1. Peeing Outside
My family took a trip to the zoo.
It was so great, until I turned around and my son was peeing into the plants outside the exhibits right off the main walkway, where he was getting lots of attention from other visitors!
All I could think to choke out in response was, “We’ve talked about this!”
Somehow, I don’t think that made me sound any more normal to the other visitors.
2. Doggy Style
We were visiting a friend’s house for a play date. I was inside chatting with the other moms and all the kids were out playing in the yard.
One of the moms sheepishly touched my shoulder and pointed to the back yard. That’s never a good sign!
I looked through the window to see my 7 year old in a squatting position, pooping right in our friend’s yard!
]After cleaning up the mess, I pulled her aside and asked why she did that. She explained, “Toby (our dog) does it!”
3. Cheer Leader
Nothing beats pooping in a public restroom (as if that’s not bad enough already) with a newly potty trained 3 year old cheering me on, loud enough for the whole store to hear!
“Mommy- YOU POOPED!!”
“Wow, mommy, great job peeing in the potty!”
I couldn’t be mad… All I could say was, “Thank you sweetie.”
4. Ice Cream!
I was cooking dinner. My toddler had taken off her diaper without me knowing.
One of my older kids interrupted my cooking with, “Look mom, an ice cream cone!” pointing at the bench by the kitchen table.
I was so confused, so I came to see. There on the bench lay a nice large turd, in the perfect shape (and I kid you not, the exact color scheme!!) of an ice cream cone.
5. Tired of the Wait
We were on a road trip and stopped to use the bathroom at a gas station. It was one of those single-stall, men/women restrooms.
I let my little one go first, and asked him to wait inside the bathroom while I went. I was still going when he got tired of waiting for me and burst open the door.
Just in time for me to make eye contact with the (rather attractive!) man outside who was waiting to use the restroom. And we just maintained eye contact for like 10 seconds as the door to the restroom slowly, slowly swung shut again.
6. Responsible Neighbors
One summer, our family was playing outside. Our son was in the process of potty training. He was playing in a kiddie pool, wearing only shorts with no underwear.
Well, I guess he needed to poop but he didn’t say anything.
Instead, he let that turd fall right out the leg of his shorts onto the sidewalk… where it sat undisturbed and unnoticed… UNTIL…
Our neighbors walked by, asked if we got a dog, and told us we needed to be responsible and clean up after it!
7. Snack Time
My daughter was just walking. She had a bad diaper rash, so I was letting her hang out naked for a bit to air out.
After a few minutes, I looked over and noticed her crouched down behind the arm of the couch. When I went to see what was going on, she had pooped on the floor.
And she was eating it!!! AHHHHH!
We were new parents, so my husband and I totally freaked out.
After a few minutes of running around and yelling confused directions at each other, trying to figure out what to do, we finally washed her mouth at least 10 times, and it just seemed like we could still smell it on her breath! Eww!
8. When you Teach your Child TOO WELL
Another public restroom mishap… I took my little one into the stall with me. I went potty first, then tried to help him up onto the toilet.
He yelled, “Ewww, Mom! Don’t touch me with your poop hands!”
I could hear laughter echoing… coming from all the other stalls.
9. Getting Technical
We were out playing at a neighbor’s house.
Because parenting is what it is, I reminded him beforehand NOT to poop in the yard.
So… naturally…. when my son had to go, he climbed the tree, squatted, and pooped on a branch. Amazing.
And technically- as he reminds me still to this day- he DID follow my directions.
10. Time for New Flooring!
My child pooped on the carpet.
Ok, no big deal for a parent. We deal with this every day.
But he wasn’t done yet!
Then got down on his hands and knees. And rubbed his poop into a giant patch of brown as far as his arms could reach.
By the time I found him, just a few seconds later, it was smeared deep into the fibers of the carpet… not to mention all over on his hands, in his hair, and on his face too.
11. Double the Trouble
My kids are “Irish twins”- you know, two pregnancies and two kids born in the same year of each other?
Well, because of their close age, they were both newly potty trained at the same time.
We decided to take a trip to the zoo. I was so excited to show them the monkeys and the elephant for the first time! They were at the perfect age to soak it up. I could just see their faces filled with amazement and excitement!!!
Right outside the zoo, they BOTH peed their pants. At. The. Exact. Same. Time.
We turned around and got right back in the car.
12. Gravity Sucks
My husband and I were enjoying a walk down the board walk along the beach during our lovely family vacation.
We had a couple kids walking alongside us and one sitting up on my husband’s shoulders.
My husband randomly said, “Honey. Come here please.” There was something about his tone… You know, the tone that parents use to communicate to each other in a second that all is very very wrong.
Turns out, my poor kid wasn’t feeling so well… And the poop couldn’t be contained in his pants… And my poor husband now had diarrhea all down his back!
I remember being out with another couple. They brought their little baby (the third child) along because she was too young to be left with a babysitter.
Well, the baby had a blowout. Totally normal, right?
This mom was freaking out and had absolutely no idea what to do because none of her other babies had ever had a blowout! And this was her third child!
I couldn’t believe it, and I couldn’t help but sit back with my arms folded across my chest and chuckle as she tried to figure out what to do with poop dripping down the baby’s back, neck, arms, legs, and clothes.
She was so surprised when the poop got on HER clothes and hands.
Ok, of course, I stepped in and offered her a spare set of clothes (I keep those in my car AT ALL TIMES because my kids are normal and have blowouts like every other day!).
I just can’t get over the fact that she had never seen a blowout in THREE KIDS! THREE!
14. Tell Me It’s Chocolate…
My niece had this thing about putting her hands down her diaper. It seemed like we were always reminding her to take her hands out there.
As if that isn’t bad enough… she was a thumb sucker.
Can you see where this is going?
One day, I found her with chocolate all over her face. I couldn’t figure out where she got it from. All of our chocolate was kept in tall cupboards.
If only it were chocolate! But it wasn’t.
15. She’s Got All the Solutions
When my son was a baby, he had a stinky diaper. I left to get the supplies I needed to change him.
During the 5 seconds I was gone, my sweet helpful daughter got sick of the poop smell. With logic that only a 5 year old can understand, she sprayed him with Febreze head to toe!
She didn’t get it in his eyes or face (thankfully!!!), but she did soak his hair with it.
16. Don’t You Love It When Kids Think Of Their Own Jokes?
The kid: “Knock knock.”
Me: “Who’s there?”
The Kid: “Poopy Pee.”
Me… getting reluctant to participate: “Poopy Pee who?”
The Kid: Squats down in a crouching position and grunts. Wow.
17. What’s Going On In There??
From inside a public bathroom, my child yells to me, “Mom, there’s Santa! Come get Santa!”
I don’t know what to do with that.
18. Effective Communication
I don’t know where this came from, but my little girl (age 2ish) used to tell me when her diaper was poopy by saying, “Poopygins!”
I swear I didn’t teach her that.
19. Nice Comeback
While potty training my daughter, we had yet another accident.
No big deal, I’m used to that.
But I wasn’t prepared for my daughter’s rebuttal, “I’m so sorry mom! You don’t understand what I did wrong.”
20. Righteous Anger
My youngest confessed to my oldest child that he had peed on his boot.
The sweet older brother wasn’t even mad.
He was innocently replying that it was ok when the youngest cut him off, yelling, “You go to school and I WORK all the time!”
Somebody’s got a guilty conscience.
Is sleep peeing a thing? I think it is… and here’s my proof.
I love raising boys, but the peeing thing can get really out of hand. I’ve had several instances when I wake up in the middle of the night to some noise. When I drag myself out of bed to check it out, I find one of my boys, apparently asleep, peeing on random objects in the house.
- My bedpost
- The sugar jar (Yes- the one up on the counter… he climbed a chair and peed in it while sleeping!)
- The empty space next to the toilet (at least he was close this time)
- Various pieces of furniture (tables, chairs, couches….)
There you have it! All the best mom experiences with pee and poop!
But I bet there are more out there that we haven’t heard yet… am I right?
What awesome potty stories do you have?? Share them in the comments below!
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It’s my favorite nickname! That’s what all my students call me!
I’ve been around the block a time or two. I’ve worked with children from ages 0-18, some with mental illness, some with disabilities, some with Autism, and many with behavioral problems.
I also worked as a parent educator!
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