Scary Mom Nightmares- Things that Should Be Weird... But Just Seem Normal to Moms

Scary Mom-Nightmares Series- Category: Things that Really Should be Weird… But Just Seem Normal to Moms

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This post may contain advertisements and/or links for products and services that I value. I offer recommendations to products and/or services that I find helpful in my own life as a mom. I may receive a commission based on viewer purchases or interactions with these ads. You will NOT be charged any extra money. All prices will stay the same for you whether your purchase items/services through links found on this site or not! 

 

Scary Mom-Nightmares Series:

A Collection of Humorous Stories from Real Moms

Scary Mom-Nightmares Series- Category: 21 Reasons A Mom’s Shower Can’t Exceed 6 Minutes

Scary Mom-Nightmares Series- Category: 20 Unlucky Embarrassing Mom Moments

Scary Mom-Nightmares Series- Category: Over 60 Insanely Awesome Child Quotes

Scary Mom-Nightmares Series- Category: Potty Edition

Scary Mom-Nightmares Series- Dirty Talk for Moms

 

Moms, do you ever look around at your life and think, “Huh… I never thought about it… but what the heck????” 

I sure do.

There’s a lot of weird mommy quirks that we are so used to! But we probably look crazy as all get out to strangers on the street who watch us as we drag our kiddos along to get our errands done.

Here’s a few of the odd… and yet normal… parts of mom life, brought to you by moms who know exactly what you’re experiencing!

1. The Zombie Mode

I know you know what I’m talking about!

That glazed-over, I can’t take another step or deal with another thing, the day is over at 6pm survival mode!

It’s the Zombie Mode that leads to accidental promises like:

“Can I please have spaghetti tacos for dinner??”

“Oh yeah honey, sure. Dinner is soon.”

2. Pee

It squirts everywhere, it soaks into carpet, it defies the laws of gravity, and it always smells. Like forever.

I could sniff out every place where I’ve ever had to clean up pee in my house… like a hound dog. Not that I would need to, those memories are etched into my brain.

3. Poop

Oh, poop.

It’s all normal now.

  • Poop on me,
  • poop up the baby’s back,
  • poop on the toys,
  • poop in the cracks.

One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.

4. Memorizing my child’s library.

“Sure sweetie, I’ll read you Green Eggs and Ham. Did you want to actually see the pictures or should I just start reciting?”

assorted books in shallow focus photography

5. That’s Embarrassing…

Or at least, it would be if I cared to stop and think about it…

You know you’re a mom when you don’t flinch at socially inappropriate comments yelled to you across the aisle at the store, or through the bathroom stalls, or over three tables of strangers at a restaurant.

“My wiener looks weird!” is sure to being a gasp and a blush from a rookie, but a seasoned mom just yells right back, “Why are you looking at it HERE??”

6. Oh, Sorry. I Forgot.

“What was that important thing… Oh well, it doesn’t matter.”

Mommy brain is real, people.

And you know what else it is??? A real EXCUSE! Milk that one, mamas!

7. Constant Noise!

“Can you hear me now? Oh well.”

I haven’t participated in a calm, focused, uninterrupted conversation in 12 years.

But I am getting very good at multitasking and filtering out the important stuff, like “I have to pee!”

8. Constant Clutter

The whisk is in the toy bin and the duck tape is in the freezer. Whatever.

You know you’re a real mommy when you take a look around, sigh a little, plop your exhausted butt onto the couch, and turn on Netflix!

Of course- there is one perk to the clutter issue. Next time your kid asks, “Mommy, can I have a new toy?” all you have to say is, “Sure, you just have to find one in your room.”

I promise, there’s a toy in there he didn’t know he owned!

9. Sibling Arguments

“I don’t care who’s right, what matters here is that you two reach a solution on your own… as in, without me.”

Now that’s good parenting full of perks for you! Well done mom!

10. Throw Up

Ok, we’ve already covered pee and poop. Now, we just have to hit puke.

You know what, let’s just make this easy- Moms deal with all bodily fluids. All the time.

Until it’s just like, “Whatever, a little day old, half-digested, full of stomach acid, leftover spaghetti can’t scare ME!” 

And then, one day, you reach that magical age when your kids are old enough to clean up their own puke! And then it’s like, “Whoa, I can’t believe I ever touched that stuff! You have fun with that.” 

short-coated brown puppy on white floor

11. An Audience while I Pee

Let’s see… we’ve got the 5 year old asking for snacks, the 3 year old climbing onto my lap, the baby crawling through the cabinets…. and the dog staring at me from the doorway.

Great, everyone’s here. Let’s get started.

12. An Audience while Pooping

You might think this is the same. But it’s very different.

You thought you had stage fright before! Just try to go #2 with all that pressure!

13. I’m a Jungle Gym. It’s Fine.

The sooner you accept it, the happier your life will be. Your identify has changed from an independent woman to the most entertaining of children’s climbing toys.

When I sit on the couch, I’ve got a kid crawling up the headrest and onto my shoulders.

When I lay down, my toddler instantly sits on my forehead.

When I stand, I’m a fire pole.

When I try to run away, I’ve got three kids sitting on each foot. There’s no escape!

14. Did Those Words Just Come Out of MY Mouth?

Oh, the crazy things you never thought you’d say.

Moms are full of, “The dog doesn’t like it when you put your underwear on his head” and “It’s impolite to poop in the neighbor’s tree.”

15. Boogers

Oh, just when we thought we were done with bodily fluids, allergy season hits or your kid gets a cold.

“Do we have a tissue around? No? We’ll just have to use the inside of your shirt.”

Problem solved!

man wiping mouse with tissue paper

16. That Sarcastic Voice in Your Head

Now, moms have to be good examples, so they’re not free to say what they think and feel all the time.

That’s what your secret, in-your-head, Sarcastic Mom Friend is for! Kinda like your child’s Imaginary Friend, except a lot funnier.

  • “Mom, can I watch TV?” I don’t know, did we just finish four episodes of Dora the Explorer and a full-length Disney movie?? I’m not sure how many more of your brain cells I can allow to die off in one day… but it it’s a sustainable amount, sure, you can watch TV! 
  • “Is dinner almost ready?” I don’t know, did you plant the wheat, harvest it, take it to the mill to make flour, mix the ingredients, and bake the bread? HUH, HENNY PENNY??? 
  • “She’s hitting me!” Did you deserve it?? 

17. A Constant Frenzy

Where’s the baby? What’s for dinner? Why are there no clean clothes in the closet? What time was that appointment? Where is your left shoe? Why are your clothes on backwards? Did you just hit your sister? Did you practice your piano? What do you mean the dog ate your homework? When is the last time we fed the dog? Who’s in charge of cleaning the bathroom? Where are you going? When are you coming home? Why do I keep mixing up my kids’ names? Is it bedtime yet?

Why am I going insane??

I love you!

18. Second Guessing Everything

Being a mom means developing a healthy level of trust issues.

After all, you can’t always take a 3 year old’s word… or a 5 year old’s word… or a 7 year old’s word… or a teenager’s word…

“Mom, I’m sick.” Ooooooh, REALLY?????

19. Hiding from the Kids

Where’s the most relaxing place in the world for a mom?

Tucked deep into her closet, behind the dresses where she can’t be spotted, with the door locked, eating her secret stash of chocolate.

Ahhh, I think I’ll go there now.

woman sitting near outdoor plants during daytime

20. Getting 80% Done with 40% Battery

Moms don’t mess around! Even when the going gets tough, moms buckle down and get sh!% done!!

Even when you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, feeling inadequate, and don’t know what to do, you take care of those cute kids.

Because you’re a mom.

It’s crazy to other people, but to you, it’s just life!

21. An Insane, Unthinkable, Deep, Overarching, Long-suffering, Abiding Love

People without kids don’t get us moms.

They can’t understand why we do what we do, why we put up with everything, why we sacrifice so much.

There’s no way to explain to them how deeply and unconditionally you love those sweeties.

They’ll never quite understand. And you’ll just keep smiling to yourself because there’s just no way to tell them.

It’s crazy to them, but it’s normal to you.

 

I hope this brought you a smile or a chuckle today. You deserve it, mama.

Notice the crazy, unique things about parenthood. They’re the fun and crazy and unique things that keep us on our toes and keep us laughing.

Sincerely,

Mrs. S

Need some time to yourself?

Check out this FREE Parent’s Guide to Self-Care to help you decompress and feel right with the world again!

Free Self Care Guide 2

 

Who is Mrs. S… and why do people call you that? 

It’s my favorite nickname! That’s what all my students call me!

I’ve been around the block a time or two. I’ve worked with children from ages 0-18, some with mental illness, some with disabilities, some with Autism, and many with behavioral problems.

I also worked as a parent educator!

All that doesn’t hold a candle to my best experience with children- being a mom. Want to learn more about me? Click here! 

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Best Mom Hacks that Save Time, Energy, and Money

25 Best Mom Hacks that Save Time, Energy, and Money

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Photo by Julie Johnson on Unsplash

This post may contain advertisements and/or links for products and services that I value. I offer recommendations to products and/or services that I find helpful in my own life as a mom. I may receive a commission based on viewer purchases or interactions with these ads. You will NOT be charged any extra money. All prices will stay the same for you whether your purchase items/services through links found on this site or not! 

Moms- You are hard workers!

I know how much time, effort, patience, energy, money, and ingenuity are required to be a mom. It’s exhausting!

That’s why I keep my eyes open for any small tricks of the trade the simplify my life.

Here’s some of my favorite hacks for mamas like me!

Comment Below- What “Mom Hacks” save you time, energy, or money??

 

1. OFF Spray for Monsters Under the Bed

You know how you can buy “Off” to keep mosquitoes away? Well, some clever parent decided to make their own “Monster Spray” to help a child calm down in the night.

So smart huh??

All you need is a spray bottle, some essential oils for scent, and water.

Explain to the child that the monsters don’t like the smell of the spray, just like mosquitoes don’t like Off. Then spray a little of the “Monster Spray” under the child’s bed to keep monsters away all night long.

Genius!

2. Save the Socks

Do you lose your socks in the laundry all the time? Seriously, where do they go? I have to know… my brain is going to explode because I can’t figure it out.

Until I get that one sorted out, I have started to put all my socks into one mesh garment bag in the washer. It zips closed to keep all my socks together while they are cleaned.

Then when the laundry is all done, every sock has a match (can you imagine that???) and I don’t have to sort through the clothes to find all the socks. It’s amazing!

person holding front-load clothes washer botton

3. Label Clothing with Initials

I used to think that labeling clothing was only for “lost and found” purposes. If my daughter left her jacket at school, we could easily identify it from the massive pile of jackets that her classmates have lost throughout the year.

But I recently learned another great use.

Labeling laundry (all laundry) by putting each child’s initials on the tag or inside makes folding laundry SOOO much easier!

I can turn on my favorite show, sit on the couch, and fold away without any concentration on the task. I feel like I’m having some veg-time but really I’m getting work done. t’s so wonderful!

4. Grocery Pick Up from Walmart

If you haven’t tried this, you’ve got to check it out!

I love the grocery pick up from Walmart. Obviously, it’s super easy! All I have to do is order some items online, pay online, and drive up to the pick up window.

But there are other perks too! I don’t have to buckle and unbuckle the kids, the kids don’t get upset when they see things in the store that they can’t have, I don’t spend unnecessary money picking up items that weren’t on my list, and my favorite of all…. drum roll… Walmart occasionally upgrades my purchases if they were out of the item that I originally wanted! Cool huh?

5. Amazon Dash Button

Amazon Dash Buttons are fantastic! All you need is Wifi and you’re ready to go.

Your Amazon Dash Button will help you order those daily necessities as soon as you notice that you need more.

You know how you’re always thinking to yourself, “Oh, toilet paper, don’t forget to buy toilet paper the next time I go to Walmart….” and then you forget?

No more of that!

Just order it instantly and easily using your Amazon Dash Button!

Even better- there are Amazon Dash Buttons available in all your favorite brands!

Click the images below to purchase your Amazon Dash Buttons today!

-Starbucks Double Shot

-Campbell’s Chunky Soup


-Gerber Formula

-Dixie Paper Products

-Kleenex

-Doritos Chips

-Pampers

-All Laundry Detergent

-Hefty Bags

-Ziploc Bags

-Clorox Wipes

-Colgate

-Goldfish

-Cascade

-Tide

-Pringles

-Iams Pet Food

-Red Bull

6. Packed Lunches in 5 Seconds

Need a quick and easy way to assemble school lunches? Try this!

Dedicate a section of your fridge just for packed school lunches. On Sunday night, make 5 sandwiches per child, 5 Ziploc bags of veggies per child, 5 juice boxes per child, 5 other sides per child (fruit, chips, fruit snacks, dessert, etc.). Now, you have enough fixin’s to throw together a full lunch for every child every school day for an entire week! Grab n’ go! 

Or even better- let the kids grab whatever they want to eat that day! Done!

7. Double Layered Waterproof Mattress Pad and Sheet

This might be my favorite mom trick of all time. When you make up a baby or a toddler’s bed, layer one mattress pad, then one sheet, then another mattress pad, and another sheet.

The magic here is that if your child has a blowout diaper, if they wet the bed, or if they get sick in the middle of the night, you can easily pull off the top layer of mattress pad and sheet. Throw those in the wash. Meanwhile, the child’s bed is ready to go so you can get them settled back in for the night without any hassle!

photo of baby laying on bed

8. Disinfecting Toys

Toys get messy fast. They need to be cleaned… but how??

Try putting toys into a mesh garment bag to keep them contained then put them through the washing machine! Air dry, and you’re done! No extra scrubbing required!

9. Decrease the Fast Food Mess While Traveling

Occasionally while traveling, fast food can be a necessary evil.

But it’s such a mess in the car! How’s a 5 year old supposed to hold a hamburger, apple slices, fries, and a drink?

The solution- ask the restaurant for one disposable beverage tray per child. Then assemble each child’s food in the beverage tray! There’s enough slots to hold it all for them.

burgers and fries inside box

10. Duct Tape Diapers

Did your toddler go through a phase of taking off her own diapers? Mine did. It’s no fun.

Sometimes the diapers were clean, which was annoying because then I was guaranteed to have pee on the floor soon. Sometimes the diapers were dirty, which was just disgusting.

Needless to say, it had to stop. Duct tape fixed that right up! I basically duct taped a belt around my child’s diaper so that she couldn’t remove it herself. Easy peasy!

11. Personalized Bins

My home gets cluttered so fast. Not dirty, jut cluttered- full of random things that my kids throw everywhere instead of putting them away.

The usual offenders include shoes, backpacks, pencils, folders, lunchboxes, coats… all the “home from school” stuff.

I love the idea of having a bin for each child to put all of their school stuff in. Nothing gets lost, it’s all ready for them to leave the next day, and it’s all out of your living space. Perfect!

12. Veggie Squeezes

Baby food pouches or applesauce pouches are wonderfully healthy and kids love them!

They are quick, easy, transportable, not messy, and tasty! Perfect!

And they provide even more of those healthy fruits and veggies that you’re always trying to convince your kids to try.

bowl of vegetable salads

13. Mark Left and Right on Shoes

I love when toddlers get to the independent stage. You know, the stage when they want to do everything themselves.

That stage is so fun because your little one is learning tons of amazing life skills, and you get a little break from some of the things you usually have to do for the child.

Shoes pose a unique challenge because it’s difficult for kids to tell which shoe goes on which foot. But my kids usually forget to double check with me until after the shoes are on their feet and tied tight. That means I have to make time for the child to put the shoes on, wait for them to ask, switch the shoes, and then we’re finally ready to leave the house.

No thank you. Instead, I marked all of the shoes with “L” and “R” inside the shoe so that she could tell which foot that shoe belongs on! Done!

14. Wifi Vs Chores

It can be tough to motivate kids to help with chores. They know they are supposed to do their chores, but they complain, and argue, and fight you the whole way.

It’s not easy as the parent to stick to your guns when it comes to chores. It’s sometimes just easier to do the chores yourself.

If your child needs a little extra push to help out around the house, try changing the wifi password every morning. He can have the new password after he finishes up his chores! This stops the arguing, gives him new motivation, and allows you to spend your time doing better things other than nagging your kids to do their chores!

If you don’t need the wifi, you could also just unplug your router and keep it hidden until chores are done.


Other Great Reads: 

10 Best Hair Styles for Mom on a Busy School Morning

How to Create and Implement a Kick @$$ Chore Chart

20 Things I Wish I’d Known BEFORE I Started Potty Training

Helping Your Toddler Understand Time- Less than $20 DIY Resource for Parents

Creative Ways to Save Money For Parents and Families


 

15. Puppy Potty Pads

You know how you use those pads to house train a puppy? Why not use those pads to house train a child??

Yep, that’s right. Puppy pads can save your couches, beds, and other furniture while you potty train your kids.

16. String of Cheerios

Cheerios are a favorite snack in my house, especially to my babies and toddlers. But they are so messy! I’m always vacuuming up Cheerios that are crushed in my carpet.

Instead of handing toddler a bowl of Cheerios or hand feeding Cheerios to my baby, I’ve started stringing Cheerios on a piece of dental floss. My little ones (especially teething babies) can chew the snack as they want without me having to keep a close eye on them.

Side note- I do not put the string of Cheerios around the child’s neck for safety reasons.

17. Pencil Case of Kids’ Stuff in Your Purse

Do you keep all sorts of items in your purse for your kids?

My purse has snacks, crayons, small notepads, bows for their hair, baby socks, a pacifier… Tons of random items that are just for the kids.

And what’s worse- because there is so much stuff floating around in there, I can never find what I need when I need it. I’d have to empty the entire purse to get to it! It’s also difficult to switch purses if I want to because I’d have to move over all the kids’ stuff as well as my own stuff.

Here’s how to solve the problem. Fill a pencil box with all the kid stuff. Now, it’s all in one place, your purse is less cluttered, and it’s easy to locate items you need.

woman holding brown and pink floral leather crossbody bag

18. Rolled Up Towel Under Baby’s Head in the Bathtub

Babies are difficult to bathe.

Here’s my favorite method to make sure my baby’s head and face stay above the water line.

Fold one hand towel and place it under my baby’s head to raise her up above the water. Then, roll a second hand towel and place it under her neck. This helps her stay balanced and comfortable in the bathtub. The rolled towel also keeps her from rolling from side to side so that I can wash her without worry.

19. Grounded Until….

Do you ever use the “grounded” method to punish your kids for misbehaving?

It does work for a lot of kids, but the tough part is that grounding kids can be a punishment for mom as well as for the kid.

So here’s a great mom hack that can save you!

Instead of grounding your child for a certain amount of time (one week, three days, etc.) try grounding your child until he earns a certain amount of “points.” You determine what positive behaviors earn points and how many points that behavior is worth.

Or, try grounding your child until they complete a to do list. You can include things like making restitution to whoever they hurt when they acted out, helping around the house, completing school work, read a book, or doing acts of service for others.

silhouette of child sitting behind tree during sunset

20. Freezer Meals

Freezer meals are the best! You spend one day cooking in bulk, then you don’t have to cook for a week or two, depending on how much freezer space you have!

Or just make one big recipe and freeze half of it. You had to cook dinner tonight anyways, so why not make a bigger batch so that you can have some for later?? This will save you from throwing away leftovers and you’ve got dinner ready for a difficult day!

You can save a ton of money and waste less!

Try freezing enchiladas, pasta bakes, lasagna, homemade pizza, or try customized freezer meals. 

21. Contact Information Close By

Find clever ways to keep your phone number on your child at all times. Just in case your child gets lost, kind strangers will be able to help him get back to you again if they can contact you.

Here are some good ideas: make a bracelet with your phone number for your child, write your number on your child’s backpack/shoes/coat, use a backpack tag with your phone number, put your number on a key chain, etc.

person's hand over brown floral field during daytime

22. Keep a “Sick Container” with All Your Flu Season Needs

Kids get sick at the most inopportune moments. Often in the middle of the night.

I used to get caught in the middle of the night digging around in my cupboards for medicine, a bowl for the little one to throw up in, cleaning supplies to clean puke, a thermometer, Gatorade, or chicken noodle soup to help a sick little child.

Now, I keep all those things in a “sick container”. Really, it’s just a 5 gallon bucket, but it has everything I need at a moment’s notice. I can get my little one all fixed up and back to bed without even having to turn my brain on. Back to sleep for everyone!

baby sleeping on black surface

24. Walmart Bag for Trash in the Van

Does your vehicle fill up with all kinds of trash like mine does? I don’t even know where it all comes from.

Fast food while traveling is the worst, but even during our everyday drives to school and the grocery store trash just seems to fill up.

Plastic Walmart bags are easy to loop around arm rests. Now, you’ve got a built in “trash bag”. As soon as the bag is full, simply remove it, tie it up, and throw it out. Replace the bag with a new Walmart bag.

And you can feel good about reusing those plastic bags instead of throwing them out.

24. Keep Outfits Together in a Ziploc Bag

When I travel, I end up with piles of children’s clothes thrown all over the place as I search through our things to find the cute outfits I’d planned.

Instead of ruffling through everything, put all the items you need for one cute outfit together in a gallon Ziploc bag. That means shirt, pants, underwear, jewelry, bows, socks, the whole nine yards! All in one convenient place!

All you have to do is pick one bag full of items and you’re all set to dress your child.

women's assorted clothes

25. New and Improved Ice Pack for “Owies”

My kids always seem to need ice packs. We’re always getting bumps and bruises. But ice packs fix them up right away and they’re off to play again!

The problem is that ice packs break, leak, and cause messes. And they’re hard and uncomfortable.

Rather than using traditional ice packs, I’ve switched to frozen marshmallows. They’re soft, clean, and they still fix the “ouchies.” My kids also love to eat one marshmallow after. Then I refreeze the rest and we’re all ready for next time!

 

Comment Below- What “Mom Hacks” save you time, energy, or money??

I hope this hacks save you some time.

And I hope you recycle that newfound time into yourself, your kids, your significant other, or whoever needs you most right now! 

Sincerely,

Mrs. S

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