14 Ways to Piss Off A Pregnant Lady

14 Ways to Piss Off A Pregnant Lady

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Hey everyone,

Check out my latest article published with Scary Mommy!

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Here it is: 14 Ways to Piss Off A Pregnant Lady.

I hope you love it! I can’t wait to hear all your reactions in the comments below! 🙂

Sincerely,

Mrs. S

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What Parenting Is All About

What Parenting Is All About

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This post may contain advertisements and/or links for products and services that I value. I offer recommendations to products and/or services that I find helpful in my own life as a mom. I may receive a commission based on viewer purchases or interactions with these ads. You will NOT be charged any extra money. All prices will stay the same for you whether your purchase items/services through links found on this site or not! 

Do you ever have perfect parenting moments that make it all worth it?

It was so great to accidentally catch one of those on film!

Love my baby!!!

 

What amazing parenting moments raise your spirits? What makes this all worth it to you?? Comment below!

I could seriously just watch that video over and over again. She’s so happy, and silly, and cute, and giggly!

I wish my cute baby would stay like that forever. I don’t want her to ever grow up.

Feeling so blessed! Go home and hug your families! I’m going to do the same.

Sincerely,

Mrs. S

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Tips to Reach Optimal Health Before a New Baby- For People who Don't Like to Diet

5 Tips to Reach Optimal Health Before a New Baby (For People Who Don’t Like to Exercise or Diet)

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Photo by Angelos Michalopoulos on Unsplash

This post may contain advertisements and/or links for products and services that I value. I offer recommendations to products and/or services that I find helpful in my own life as a mom. I may receive a commission based on viewer purchases or interactions with these ads. You will NOT be charged any extra money. All prices will stay the same for you whether your purchase items/services through links found on this site or not! 

Updated: 2/12/2019

Every mom goes through a unique phase before she gets pregnant. It’s a time of preparation…

Time to start thinking about what kind of health I should be in before my pregnancy.

This is always a tough time for me. I typically make much better choices eating and exercising when I am pregnant or nursing than I do normally.

I’ve got to reign in all the emotions that come with eating, not just the eating itself. It’s an entire lifestyle change, a whole new mindset. More than just eating your veggies. 

I just like tasty food. And I’m not a dieter. And I hate exercising.

burger beside fried potatoes with drinking glass

But I also don’t want to be unhealthy or overweight, especially when there’s another little human who depends on me.

If only chips and cookies were nutritious… But they’re not.

So, I go through this terrible process before every pregnancy where I try to prepare my body for building another person- and that means being in good physical condition.

Nothing crazy, mind you.

Again, I am no dieter and I hate to exercise. All I’m aiming for here is being healthy in general.

No counting calories, or cutting out carbs altogether, or cayenne detoxing.

How do I get prepare my body for having a child- without going crazy?

1) Healthier Choices

Ok, we all know about this.

  • We know that refined sugars and carbs are bad.
  • We know that veggies are good.
  • We know that we should have a balanced diet with lots of colors.

So the first (Unavoidable!) step is to make a few healthier choices.

When I’m thinking about getting pregnant, I try to change my diet a few months in advance. Here’s some of the changes I make:

  • Take a prenatal vitamin. Ok, so I usually do this all the time, but it is especially vital now! (Click the image below!)

Nature Made Prenatal + DHA 200 mg Softgels – Rich in Folic Acid, Iron, Iodine & Zinc Value Size 90 Ct

  • Buy whole wheat everything. Tortillas, bread, buns, you name it. I can’t seem to function without carbs, so I at least try to make them a little better for me by choosing whole wheat.
  • Increase fresh veggies. I eat at least one veggie with each meal. No exceptions. Buy a variety of colors. This ensures that I’m getting a balance of nutrients from my food.
  • Drink water. Pregnancy requires a ton of water, even more than normal. Before pregnancy, I start getting used to that by increasing my water intake. There are great resources out there, like water bottles that help you track your water intake

Use this great water bottles that track your water intake! Perfect!! Click image below!

BELLYBOTTLE Original Pregnancy Water Bottle Intake Tracker with Time Marker and Weekly Calendar Stickers – Voted top Pregnancy Gifts must haves Essentials (PINK)

This also means giving up other drinks- especially those with high sugars (like soda) or high caffeine (like coffee and energy drinks- read here for more information on how to keep your energy up without the caffeine!).

And we all know that pregnancy means limiting or cutting out alcohol, so this is a good time to get started.

  • Just stop buying unhealthy snacks that I can’t resist. Chips, chocolate, ice cream, and cookie dough are a few of my weaknesses. I can’t have them in my house if I am going to make a change to being healthy. So I just don’t let them in the house.
  • Get through the cravings. It helps me to know that cravings for my favorite carbs and sugars should go away after a week or two of the new, healthier lifestyle. I just have to make it til then!

But that is only the first step!

2) Sweat and Stuff

Ok, seriously, who has time to exercise?

Nobody.

And who wants to exercise?

Nobody.

So how on earth does anyone ever get it done?

The only times in my life where I have been successful at keeping a consistent workout routine is if I am working out with a group. That way, they know if I am missing my workouts and they hold me accountable.

Effective. But I hate it.

My favorite way to get in some good physical activity is to play with my kids for 30 minutes to 1 hour every day.

group of children pulling brown rope

I love this, especially right before another pregnancy, because I just want to soak up my little ones before I have a baby that needs most of my attention.

It helps my kids cope with a new sibling because they get lots of mommy’s attention beforehand and it helps me feel connected with each child. AND I get my workout in. Let me tell you, it’s an intense workout.

Win, win, win.

Click the image below for some great family fun!
Backyard Discovery Oakmont All Cedar Wood Playset Swing Set

3) Use Water to Control Portion Sizes

Here’s a simple trick that I use to make sure I am drinking enough water and also monitoring my portions at meal times.

About 30 minutes before the meal (usually right as I am starting to cook dinner or lunch), I drink a BIG glass of water. Not your average 8 fluid ounce cup. A BIG cup of water.

That’s 3 glasses of water (one at breakfast, one at lunch, and one at dinner). Not the entire day’s worth of water, but a good start!

Again, if you would like some extra help keeping track, try these water bottles that keep you updated on how much water you need! Click the image below.
babyneü Pregnancy Gift Time Marked Water Bottle with Motivational Quote, weekly timeline stickers. Designed to help you reach your Daily Water Intake. BPA-Free, straw, sip top, carry loop(BABST Aqua)

The water fills up my belly so that I eat a more appropriate portion of food rather than helping myself to a heaping plate.

This trick alone is responsible for a significant amount of my pre-pregnancy weight loss.

4) Time Limits

Another pitfall of my everyday eating habits is that I allow myself to eat whenever I want.

  • That means if I want a snack between meals, I can have one.
  • If I want a midnight snack, I can have one.
  • If I want all the hobbit meals- breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner, and supper- there’s no stopping me.

If I’m working on being more healthy, I cut out some of these extra meals by setting rules for myself.

And, I don’t just mean lines in the sand, but firm, for reals, no joke rules.

grayscale photography of clock

  • For example, I don’t eat past 6pm.
  • I don’t let myself snack between meals.
  • I make my mealtimes consistent every day, such as breakfast between 9-10am, lunch between 12-1pm, and dinner between 5-6pm. And that’s the only 3 hours in the day when I am allowed to consume food of any kind.

I know, I know, it’s healthier to eat small snacks often rather than big meals. If I had enough self-control to do that, I would. But when I try to eat 6 small snacks in a day, I just end up with 6 big meals.

In that case, it is more healthy to limit myself to meals rather than trying to snack.

Please note that this is one habit that I give up after pregnancy. I find that snacks are a helpful way to keep morning sickness away, and you need more calories during pregnancy anyways.

5) Feeling Zen About Food

Emotions about food are difficult.

It is a tough topic for a lot of people. Media portrays a perfect body type that many people aspire to obtain. This brings up feelings of self-doubt, self-esteem, being in control, feeling accepted by others, health and wellness, confidence, and mortality to name a few.

Click below for a great resource on emotional eating!

When Food Is Comfort: Nurture Yourself Mindfully, Rewire Your Brain, and End Emotional Eating

Lots of big emotions are tied to food.

Success at changing a lifestyle takes more than just grudgingly following steps that you don’t want to do.

That’s where I went wrong for a long time.

As I have said many times, I’m no dieter. I’m no exerciser. I’m no good at counting calories.

These few tricks I have identified are the prefect mix (for me) of small and simple changes that I can handle. They are things that work for me BECAUSE they don’t send me into big emotions of frustration, regret for foods I have eaten, wishing for foods I can’t have, or self-punishment when I mess up.

At the same time, I find new ways to reward myself, to rejuvenate myself, instead of eating (many ideas are mentioned in this blog post). 

I can feel happy about my food choices without putting myself under intense stress for giving up a major part of my life.

In doing so, I control my feelings and my food.

Need some resourced for during pregnancy? Got you covered!

The Whole 9 Months: A Week-By-Week Pregnancy Nutrition Guide with Recipes for a Healthy Start

Motherwell Maternity Fitness Plan

Sincerely,

Mrs. S

Share this post with any parent who needs to feel Zen about their food!

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How to Handle a Tantrum without Destroying Relationships

6 Tips to Handle a TANTRUM without Destroying Relationships

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Photo by Jordan Whitt on Unsplash

This post may contain advertisements and/or links for products and services that I value. I offer recommendations to products and/or services that I find helpful in my own life as a mom. I may receive a commission based on viewer purchases or interactions with these ads. You will NOT be charged any extra money. All prices will stay the same for you whether your purchase items/services through links found on this site or not! 

Updated 2/12/2019

If there is one all-encompassing word to describe moments “when fit hits the shan,” that word would be “Tantrum”.

This word covers everything from stomping feet, to flailing on the floor, to screaming, to physically attacking people and things. It’s basically a name for every parent’s nightmare… especially if tantrums happen in public.

In our case, tantrums started when our baby hit 13 months. She will tighten up her hands into fists, her whole body shakes, and she screams bloody murder. This is usually followed by crying and falling to the floor. Sometimes when my husband and I try to help her calm down, she will push us away or hit us.

So, being good, responsible parents (or at least we’re trying to be)…. What are we supposed to do?

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1) Think of the Child’s Perspective

Children usually have a good reason for their actions, but it can be hard for them to tell us what that reason is. All parents know, kids struggle with communication. It’s not their fault. Lots of adults suck at communication too.

When we stop and really look at why the kid is acting out, usually we can find a good reason that we’ve overlooked.

  • Maybe a situation really isn’t fair.
  • Maybe he’s hungry and that makes him irritable.
  • Maybe he’s tired so he’s grouchy.
  • Maybe he’s bored.
  • Maybe there’s so much going on that he’s having sensory overload.
  • Maybe he needs your attention but doesn’t know how to ask for it.
  • Maybe he wants an item that someone else has.
  • Maybe the physical limitations of being a kid are frustrating (I can’t reach that, I can’t take the lid off, I can’t make you understand what I’m saying, etc.).
  • Maybe he feels misunderstood.

Even though some of these things sound like “kid problems,” ALL of them involve real feelings.  Take a second, look around, think, and see if there is an obvious need that can be met.

Sometimes this solves the problem before we even get started!

Avoid writing off the situation because, no matter how insignificant the problem seems when compared to adult woes, it matters to your child!

2) Give The Child Tools

clothes iron, hammer, axe, flashlight and pitcher on brown wooden table

Various developmental stages require different responses.

Babies don’t tantrum- they cry because it’s the only way they have to communicate.

Toddlers are just barely learning to use words, so encourage what words they do know and model new words until they can master those too. This stage requires a lot of patience because if a toddler doesn’t know a word, the only other communication he knows is to cry.

Children who are old enough to speak fluently can learn to master their emotions by learning to calm down and practicing expressing their wants and needs to adults calmly.

Teenagers can learn to meet their own needs through responsible actions, thinking for themselves, and problem solving, leaning on parents as a guide as they practice this kind of independence.

Help a child be just a little bit better than they were the day before.

Teach a new word or skill and be excited for them when they make tiny steps towards implementing what they’ve learned! Even if they get frustrated, you can still notice and reward their positive efforts! 

3) A Learning Experience

woman holding girl while learning to walk taken at daytime

What do you want your child to learn?

What do you want them to become?

This varies depending on your values as a parent.

  • Some parents want a child to be independent.
  • Some want the child to know how to empathize with others.
  • Some want kids who can problem solve.
  • Some parents want children to learn to cope with their emotions.
  • Some want kids who are intelligent.
  • Some want kids to have successful careers.
  • Some want kids to listen to their inner compass.
  • Maybe you want all or a mix of these things.

Your focus in the tough moments should be teaching your child skills that will help her reach those ultimate goals for her success.

The focus will probably change depending on how old your kid is and what their strengths and struggles are at the moment.

If your kid is good at empathy, you might focus on something else… maybe problem solving. Or maybe you want to perfect that skill so it’s exactly what you want to focus on! It might even change from one tantrum to the next based on the circumstances.

Whatever you value, make that your focus and tailor all your reactions to her behavior based on what you are trying to teach.

Sometimes, it is really tough to think past the initial problem to focus on bigger issues like independence or problem solving.

Of course, we all want the best for our kids. The next step will help with getting past the day to day frustrations so that you can focus on the bigger picture.

Each tantrum is a teaching moment.

Usually, your natural reaction in these situations isn’t to teach- It’s to put an end to this behavior as quickly and as effectively as you can. Fight that tendency by being intentional!

4) A Fresh Outlook

Stop for a second. Take a deep breath, take a break, count to 10, use a calming tool, whatever you need to do to delay that initial reaction long enough to think it through. Intentional parenting is always better than just reacting.

Need a calming tool? Click the image below!

SpringFly 030 12 Pack Bundle Sensory Fidget Cube/Bike Chain/Liquid Motion Timer/Rainbow Magic Ball/Mesh and Marble Toy/Soybeans Squeeze Grape

If you lose your cool and yell at your kids…. Who’s learning? The kid? Nope! You? Hopefully!

Well, let’s halt. That’s not entirely true…. A kid can learn from these moments but they don’t always learn what you want them to.

  • They can learn that yelling is an appropriate way to handle tough situations, even though it isn’t.
  • Or, if you have a resilient child, they might learn that being yelled at isn’t fun and that they don’t ever want to yell at other people. We all hope for this, but unfortunately most kids fall in the first category.

When you lose your temper, don’t be afraid to go back and make it a teaching moment after the fact. Purposely reviewing the situation helps a child cognitively process the event in a positive way. 

  • You can show your little one how to say sorry.
  • You can teach them how to fix a relationship that has been bruised.
  • You can help them practice forgiving another person.

Don’t beat yourself up if you have imperfect parenting moments.

Those… oddly enough… are good for kids because they open up a whole new world of teaching moments for you, so don’t think you have to put on a perfect face for your kids all the time. Kids need to see someone handling mistakes well if they are to be expected to handle mistakes well themselves.

It’s not easy for me to have enough humility to apologize to my kids. Sometimes I feel justified for yelling because I was right and the kid was wrong. But that’s no way to live life and not how I want my daughter to learn to act either.

Click the image below for a great children’s book to teach your child about apologizing!

Zach Apologizes (Zach Rules Series)

She’s always so kind and forgives me right away. 

5) Carry Out your Teaching Moment…. Even if it’s Hard.

Remember earlier when you decided what you value? Now it’s time to make that happen.

This isn’t easy.

First of all, make sure you find a better solution to the problem and show your child how to implement it!

This shows the child that he can be proactive in finding a solution rather than getting upset. You can work through the stages of problem solving and think critically together.

Of course, early on, the parent does most of the brainstorming, but as the parent slowly gives the child more and more involvement in the process, the child becomes independent at thinking of solutions on his own.

person using white and gold compass

So, find out what the kid wants, then offer him an appropriate way to work towards that goal without behaving in a way that is hurtful to others. 

  • Using polite words is one of the best ways for a child to earn something they want. Use one of these phrases:
    • “Say please.”
    • “Tell me what you want and I will get it for you.”
    • “Ask nicely.”
  • If a child is tantruming about a task, give a shorter version of the task or allow them to take a break.
    • “You don’t have to clean your whole room now, just pick up one toy, then you can have a break. But you will need to finish the room after you calm down.”
    • “You don’t have to finish your homework now, just keep working for one more minute. Then take a break. But you will need to finish your homework after you calm down.”

I’ve seen parents make the mistake of making it really, really, really difficult for the child to earn the thing that they want. This teaches the child that it’s easier to yell and scream rather than try to do what you’re asking, so they will just keep up the tantrum.

Offer your child a really easy way to earn the thing they want. Then, the positive behavior is clearly a better option over the tantrum. .When the easiest choice is the positive behavior, the child is more likely to use it.

Then you can slowly increase the difficulty of the task once the child masters the easier tasks.

6) Clarity and Consistency

But what about when you’re just plain tired? Sometimes… It’s just easier… to not. Not do anything. Not worry about teaching. Not follow through.

I have noticed that if I give in even once, the tantrum is worse the next time and harder to get rid of.

It’s so much better if my child just knows what to expect from me.

  • If she clearly knows that mom means what she says because I’ve always followed through in the past, then she doesn’t test me.
  • If she isn’t sure if I will follow through or not because I didn’t follow through last time, then she’s more likely to push my buttons.

As difficult as it can be to be consistent in the moment, I keep myself straight by thinking of the bigger problems that happen when I fall off the wagon.

woman sitting on bed with flying books

I’ve seen kids who rule the roost.

They dominate the household while their parents cower before them and meet their every want (not their every need- their every WANT!). It’s seriously like watching a dictator bossing around his servants.

Here’s a few of the memories I have from these households.

  • A 5 year old beating his dad, who had a disability, by jumping onto his back, kicking and punching him repeatedly, and yelling hateful comments about how lazy and worthless his dad was.
  • A mom terrified to run errands because of how powerless she felt with her children. She couldn’t go shopping without buying them whatever they wanted, and it was ruining the family financially.
  • A child who could eat whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. His parents would ask him not to but didn’t have the courage to really stop him. As a result, his health was failing. He was overweight, had diabetes, and frequently needed medical intervention.
  • A child who ran away from his parents every time he didn’t get his way almost got hit by a car. Not like, the car was generally near him. He really ALMOST GO HIT. He got the candy that he wanted.

I’m afraid of these scenarios.

I’ve promised myself that I will never, ever allow my home to look like that. I was lucky enough to see this before I ever had kids, and it changed my parenting for the better.

Just remember, fixing is much, much harder than preventing.

Make the choices daily that will create a better life for you and your kids.

Don’t give in to tantrums. Instead, teach positive skills!

Sincerely,

Mrs. S

Please share with any parent who deals with tantrums every day!

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