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Scary Mom-Nightmares Series:
A Collection of Humorous Stories from Real Moms
Who’s ever peed their pants in 4th grade? Me!
Who’s ever misspelled the easiest word in front of the whole school during the 8th grade Spelling Bee? Check!
Who couldn’t remember my own phone number for the first year and a half after getting a new phone? You guessed it.
Who accidentally told a client’s mom “I love you” at the end of a work phone call? Yep, me again.
Just you wait- there’s plenty more. Especially since I’ve become a mom!
And thank goodness- it’s not just me!
Here’s a wonderful list of deliciously embarrassing mom moments, told by moms who know exactly what it feels like to cover their faces in shame and rush out of the grocery store without making eye contact with anyone!
Enjoy a good laugh, and remember that you’re normal after all! Unless…. we are all abnormal… in which case, you’re still in good company!
1) Count the Cows’ Wieners
My son grew up around the farm.
One day, he told me, “Mom, cows make milk.”
Then his younger brother piped in, “And they have lots of wieners!” (I guess you mean the udders??)
2) F, F, and More F
My child mispronounced the words “duck”, “truck”, “stuck”… basically anything ending in the “uck” sound.
The interesting thing is, no matter what the beginning sound was supposed to be, she substituted in an “f”. No idea why.
So she went through a phase where this cute little blonde, piggy tailed, adorable girl walked around swearing all the time.
The little old ladies down the street weren’t happy about that.
3) All Better!
I slipped on the ice right on my butt.
As if that wasn’t embarrassing enough, my sweet toddler kissed it better.
4) A Little Miscommunication
My child told her teacher that I drink and drive.
When CPS showed up at my house, I asked my 6 year old to go to the fridge and bring the nice lady the beverage that I drink while I drive.
She came back with a Pepsi.
5) How Old Do I Look?
A salesman came to the door. I answered with a toddler hanging on my leg and a four year old behind me.
My only plan was to send him away graciously.
But then he jumped right in with, “Hi, is your mom here?”
6) I’m 4 Years Old All Over Again
After I gave birth to my first baby, we had a big family gathering to welcome her to the world. Everyone was there.
We were all dressed up and looking cute.
And then I had to sneeze. I was still new to this whole postpartum body of mine, so I really wasn’t ready for it.
I never thought I’d pee my pants as a 26 year old. And definitely not in front of the whole extended family!
7) Watch out for spit up!
I’ve had many a day go by without realizing that I was covered in it. For hours. Out in public.
I’m not just talking running errands in Wal-Mart (although that’s certainly happened!) but also at work, at church, at weddings, at family get togethers, and at company parties.
The best was when I was covered in spit up for an Employee of the Month photo. And nobody said anything!
8) Empathy for Livestock
I was a new mom, and my sweet mom offered to take my daughter over night while my husband and I had a nice getaway. It was so so great!
Except that I had never packed for postpartum needs. I forgot the breast pump. And I felt it. Quickly.
When I started hurting, my husband didn’t know how to help so he started massaging me. We joke to this day about the time that I was milked like a cow.
9) Surprise Visitors
Our family bought a new house. We were very excited to move in… but we had the sad surprise of BED BUGS! Yep.
The exterminator took care of them as quickly as possible.
My son told some friends, “We got a new house. There are bugs that eat me in my sleep.”
10) Shhh! Quiet!
My family was sitting in a quiet church on Easter Sunday. We were listening to the sermon and trying to keep everyone quiet.
I had my son in my lap. He was playing with the hymn books, but he was being a little too rough with them.
I tried to take it out of his hands, but he pulled up on the book as fast as he could to keep me from taking it. The book went above his head, straight into my windpipe! It completely knocked the wind out of me! I tried to gag quietly, but that’s easier said than done.
I ended up making weird, uneven, gag, choke, cry, shudder, swallow, gasp, clear throat, cough, hack, puke noises. For like 5 minutes. In the otherwise dead silence.
11) Keep It IN Your Pants
My son pulled his “thing” right out of his pants in the middle of Chuck-E-Cheese with kids and parents all around.
12) Another Great Day at Church.
I was sitting in the pew with my sister and her family. My sister’s husband was holding their son.
I was very entertained watching him try to sit still.
As he sat there fidgeting, he looked up at his dad. With his dad looking straight ahead at the preacher, the kid could see right up his nose holes.
The boy looked down at his hand, holding up two fingers. Then he looked back at his dad’s nose. And back at his fingers.
And then, quick as anything, he shoved those two fingers up his dad’s nose right in the middle of the sermon!
13) Who Dressed Who?
It was a few days before school started and we were attending the open house to get to know our kids’ new teachers. I wore a sundress and thought I looked super cute!
My son said, “Mom, your dress looks funny.”
I got after him, telling him to be polite and keep rude comments to himself. After a few minutes, I realized that my dress was inside out, and had been the whole time!!
14) New Lyrics
My kid liked to make up songs.
One day, while we were out to eat at a restaurant, he was singing loudly some of his made up lyrics. It was a little annoying, but fine… until, “All you have to do is shake your booty and wave your pee pee!” Oh no.
15) A Classic with a Twist
Another amazing original song by a four year old…. In the middle of hobby lobby, my daughter yelled, “If you’re happy and you know it, clap your butt!”
16) Mommy Balance
Our family was shopping at Lowe’s. My two year old tried to run for the door. When I tried to catch her, I slipped and face planted.
I got a black eye, a bloody nose, a laughing toddler, and a husband who stood in shock until I finally choked out of my blood-soaked face, “Get her!”
17) Tissue, Please!
I was visiting my neighbor. We were sitting on her couch chatting. I had my three year old sitting next to me. She was getting squirmy but I was really enjoying the adult interaction, so I was hoping she could sit still for just a few more minutes!
Then, I suddenly realized that quite a bit of time had passed and she seemed to calm down! Great!
Until I started to notice how often my neighbor was glancing away from me and towards my daughter…. Never a good sign!
When I looked down at her, she had been picking her nose and wiping the boogers on my neighbor’s couch. She had an impressive pile of snot built up!! I had to pinterest how to clean microfiber.
18) Potty Mouth
The family was carrying in groceries. My husband dropped a bag containing spaghetti sauce. The glass jar shattered and spaghetti sauce was everywhere!
Our toddler was running by right as my husband let out a, “Oh shit!”.
Later that day, we went back to Costco for more spaghetti sauce. We were trying some of the free samples… when my toddler dropped hers… And let out a, “Oh shit!” in front of a group of little old ladies.
19) Tit Twister but Worse
Have you ever seen those pacifier clips? You know, so you can clip the paci to the baby’s clothes and you don’t loose it? They’re great!
Except for one unfortunate day… I clipped it right onto her nipple!! She was crying, and it took me a few minutes to figure out what was wrong!
20) Good Ol’ Abe
My four year old’s preschool teacher dressed up as Abraham Lincoln. She spoke about how old Abe freed the slaves- then explained that slaves were black people who were forced to work for free.
After preschool, my daughter and I went out for lunch at Wendys. In the line, she yelled, “Look, mom- it’s a slave!” pointing at a young African American man.
The whole restaurant fell silent, staring at us. I didn’t know what to say, but I managed to choke out, “No, sweetie, remember that Abraham Lincoln freed all the slaved… except for one, and that would be me!”
Whatever your most embarrassing mom moment is, it can’t be any worse than these! But if it is, we’d really want to hear about it!
Please share your BEST embarrassing mom moments in the comments below!
No need to feel embarrassed next time one of these crazy mom moments happens to you! Just come join us for a good laugh about it all!
Who is Mrs. S… and why do people call you that?
It’s my favorite nickname! That’s what all my students call me!
I’ve been around the block a time or two. I’ve worked with children from ages 0-18, some with mental illness, some with disabilities, some with Autism, and many with behavioral problems.
I also worked as a parent educator!
All that doesn’t hold a candle to my best experience with children- being a mom. Want to learn more about me? Click here!
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